No more silence

“Breaking the Code of Silence”:

So why the “hush, hush” on depression in marriage?

There has been for many years a social stigma attached to the word depression.

It is as if people have an image in their mind that a person with this mental illness is someone to be afraid of, steer clear of or treat as different because they have dark moods. 

They are often viewed as “weak” because they become socially isolated and sometimes are unable to work due to the paralysis of the depression. 

Also as women we are very conscious of and sensitive to protecting our partner’s integrity and social standing in life.  This is one of the main reasons why we keep silent when we realise we are living with a partner suffering from depression!

Does keeping silent solve the problem?

No.  Keeping silent about this only buries the problem deeper. 

 It increases the hurt, pain and tension in the relationship and closes the doors to the possibility of finding a way to have a happy relationship and home while living with a partner with depression. 

Now there’s a new thought!  Can you be “partnered to depression” and still have a fulfilling relationship and happy family? 

You absolutely can if that is what you truly desire and you are prepared to break your silence on this very personal and private situation that you live with daily.

 Healing comes from acceptance and openness:

Accepting the fact that your partner has depression and that you can not change or control this, is the beginning of your place of liberty within the situation. 

Once you have accepted this you then feel more at ease about talking to those close to you about what you have been suffering. 

The moment you feel it is “safe” enough for you to open up and talk with someone who truly understands what you are living with, day and night, is the moment your pain begins to ease and hope rekindles within you.

You will find a greater release of intuition and insight for your situation as your learn to listen with your heart rather than your head.

You are not alone on this journey:

It takes a courageous and trusting heart to open up and begin to talk about living with a partner with depression. 

I am sure that the moment you do open up you will come across more women who are living in the same situation as you and who have been keeping silent for the same reason as yourself. 

Gaining the knowledge that you are not the only one going through this and understanding that depression is quite endemic in our society, is in itself such a relief.  You are not isolated and you are not in a relationship where your partner is “the odd person out”.

There is help, answers and support:

When you make the choice to break the silence on the fact that you are living with a partner suffering from depression, a warehouse full of resources opens up to you.  

Through appropriate guidance and counsel you can regain your emotional energy and freedom. 

You can learn the skills to assist your partner manage their depression so that it does not impact so strongly on your life and family. 

Most importantly you can find the tools to take life less seriously and be in control of your own results and achievements.

Copyright Christine McRae 2009

christinemcraeContact: Why not break the silence on your pain.   Take a walk through my website www.trailblazingwoman.com.au.  Read my personal story of being “partnered to depression” and see the services and resources I offer that can turn your situation around. Together we can find a pathway for you so that you discover renewed inner strength, freshness and vitality. 

Want to use this article in your newsletter, blog or website? You can as long as you include this complete statement with it:

Christine McRae is the founder of The Trail Blazing Woman business which has been established to bring support, understanding, solutions, energy and freedom to women who are living with a partner with depression.  Christine offers a unique service, based on her own personal experience and years of study and training, that provides the tools, techniques and resources to assist these women reach a place of new found emotional freedom and energy.

 

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