Little known ways to manage relationship stress

Relationship stress is on the rise.   

Why is this?

 There can be a number of reasons for this:

  • Financial stress
  • Grief
  • Work related pressure
  • Unemployment
  • Genetics – a family history of depression
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of communication
  • Unresolved anxieties
  • Natural disasters

Regardless of what is the cause of stress in a relationship it is important to understand that each person responds differently to extreme “stressors” such as those mentioned above.  I might have the response of just wanting to make time to have a quality conversation to talk through the stressors.   My partner’s response could be quite different.   My partner could want to ignore that there is an issue in the hope that it will just simply go away because, to him, the thought of talking it through could be more stressful than the problem itself.

Committed relationships require quite a deal of navigation at the best of times.  When there are added stressors, a considerable amount of time and effort needs to be put into maintaining a harmonious relationship.  If you are looking for comfort, direction and solutions for your relationship or in a marriage trying to “hold it together”, this is the time to reach out for professional support such as relationship coaching to keep the relationship healthy and moving forward.

How do you prevent your relationship from crumbling?

  • Accept that any relationship that has experienced the levels of stress that your relationship has will naturally be feeling fragile. This is completely understandable.
  • Step back or detach yourself from unhelpful thoughts and anxieties rather than allowing yourself to get tangled up with your thinking
  • Remind yourself of what is valuable to you in your relationship
  • Commit to reaching out for professional support to guide your relationship through these difficult time i.e. relationship coaching
  • Avoid communication that is characterised by:

            a.  Contempt

            b.  Criticism

            c.   Defensiveness

            d.   Withdrawal

  • Practice cherishing behaviour

What every couple ought to know about Cherishing Behaviours:

Cherish can sound like an old fashioned word yet its meaning is very relevant right now to any relationship – it means to feel or show great love or care for somebody. It is that simple!

Here’s some practical tips on how to do this:

Recall some of the pleasing and delightful behaviours that drew you to each other during courtship or which were practiced during some happy times.

From the list below (or create your own), choose two or three cherishing behaviours you might be willing to practice:

  • Call me during the day and tell me something pleasant
  • Ask me how I spent my day and for a few minutes give me your undivided attention
  • Fix the coffee in the morning so we can have a few minutes to talk before starting the day
  • Sometimes turn off the lights and light a candle when we are having dinner
  • Find something humorous in your day to share with me
  • When you are out walking bring back a flower or a leaf or funny rock
  • For no special reason, hug me and say you love me
  • Tell the children (in front of me) what a good parent I am
  • Cuddle with me at night before we go to sleep.
  • Ask my opinion about some TV program or world news event
  • Occasionally call me sweetheart or honey or dear or some word special to us
  • Hold my hand when we walk down the street
  • When we sit together put your arm around me or touch me
  • Look at me and smile
  • Put on one of my favourite records or CD’s and play it without asking
  • When you see me coming home, come to meet me

Grow in Love:

When a relationship is under stress or there is depression within the relationship, you can not expect to maintain the romantic intensity that was present during courtship. However we can continue to grow in love and consideration.

Remember a successful, happy marriage is made of many small things!

Is your relationship in trouble?

“You can get all the support, guidance and strategies you need from an experienced relationship coach”.

Why don’t you contact me to have a chat about how relationship coaching could restore harmony and balance to your relationship and prevent it from crumbling. You can contact me on 07 3824 2009 or by email to [email protected]

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