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Relationship Stress Buster Package

By tr4ibl4 on 17th February 2012

6 x 1hr one-on-one professional relationship coaching sessions. Within these sessions there will be:

  • 4 x 1 hr one-on-one professional coaching sessions specialising in 4 essential keys for creating harmony in relationships:
  • Boundary setting
  • Valuing your individuality within the relationship
  • Tools for tough, touchy conversations
  • Putting the “zing” back into your relationship
  • 1 x 1 hr one-one-one resilience coaching sessions to restore your emotional energy and balance and to give you the ability to bounce back quickly after set backs
  • 1 x 1hr one-on-one “emotional recovery” session to bring wholeness into areas of your life impacted on by the stress in your relationship. In this session advanced coaching tools are used to assist you cut the ties to the hurts of the past and to discover the hidden gift or learning that these experiences have added to your life.

Email coaching in between sessions

Laser coaching when required at a discounted rate per hour

A coaching agreement will be prepared which will be signed by yourself and myself as your coach, setting out practical arrangements for the coaching sessions and the terms and conditions of the agreement.

Relationship Stress Buster - Ultimate Relationship Harmony Package
Relationship Stress Buster - Ultimate Relationship Harmony Package
The full fees for this package are paid prior to the commencement of the coaching sessions and a 10% discount offered off the package price.
Price: $900.00
Price: $810.00
Relationship Stress Buster - Essential Relationship Harmony Package
Relationship Stress Buster - Essential Relationship Harmony Package
The full fees for this package are paid prior to the commencement of the coaching sessions and a 5% discount offered off the package price.
Price: $900.00
Price: $855.00

Relationship Stress Buster - Valuable Relationship Harmony Package
Relationship Stress Buster - Valuable Relationship Harmony Package
The fees for this package are paid in weekly instalments, each instalment being paid 2 sessions in advance.
Price: $900.00

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Coaching

By tr4ibl4 on 16th February 2012

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Miserable Holiday or Depression?

By tr4ibl4 on 4th January 2012

“Honestly, has your holiday been the carefree, relaxing time of refreshment and fun that you wanted it to be?”


I am guessing that for many of you your holiday could have been tainted with tension, frustration, possibly some harsh words and a sense of feeling just miserable.   These emotions may have taken you by surprise and left you wondering what on earth is going on with yourself and your partner or family members.


“Don’t spoil the rest of your holiday”.  


There could be a reasonable explanation for this and if you understand that depression could be the cause of you feeling miserable it can make a huge difference to your attitude and your emotions.


“How do you know if you are experiencing depression or if your partner is experiencing depression?”

 

Here is something for you to think about!


Did you know that if you spend enough time in the company of a person who is genuinely depressed that you can also unconsciously succumb to depression yourself?


“Important question to ask”

So  the really important question to ask yourself is:  are you depressed or is it your partner who is depressed and their depression impacting negatively on you?


An easy way to determine whether you or someone you love is experiencing depression:

 

Have a look at this symptom check list provided by Beyond Blue and see how many you can put a tick beside, either for yourself or your partner:


For more than TWO WEEKS have you or your partner:

1. Felt sad, down or miserable most of the time?
2. Lost interest or pleasure in most of your usual activities?

If you answered “YES” to either of these questions, or could answer “yes” on behalf of your partner, please complete the symptom checklist below

Behaviours

1.

 Stopped going out

2.

 Not getting things done at work

3.

 Withdrawn from close family and friends

4.

 Relying on alcohol and sedatives

5.

 Stopped doing things you enjoy

6.

 Unable to concentrate

 

Thoughts

7.

 “I’m a failure”

8.

 “It’s my fault”

9.

 “Nothing good ever happens to me”

10.

 “I’m worthless”

11.

 “Life is not worth living”

Feelings

12.

 Overwhelmed

13.

 Unhappy, depressed

14.

 Irritable

15.

 Frustrated

16.

 No confidence

17.

 Guilty

18.

 Indecisive

19.

 Disappointed

20.

 Miserable

21.

 Sad

Physical

22.

 Tired all the time

23.

 Sick and run down

24.

 Headaches and muscle pains

25.

 Churning gut

26.

 Can’t sleep

27.

 Poor appetite/weight loss



How did you or your partner score?

 

“If you have identified through this checklist that it appears either you or your partner are experiencing depression this will explain why your holiday has been miserable!”


For those of you who now recognise that depression is impacting on your life and relationship, there is some vital information I need to share with you.


Please do not remain with this sense of misery you have been experiencing.   It is time for you to take some action.


Communication is a key

It is vitally important that you communicate with your partner what you have been experiencing.   Putting up with it will not make it go away or improve the situation.   Whether you have identified it is yourself who has depression or whether you feel your partner is experiencing depression you need to talk about this together and work out a way forward.


I know the thought of communicating with your partner about this could make you feel quite nervous and you are probably wondering what their response will be when you do raise the subject.


Here’s some of the thoughts that are probably running through your mind …


  • What will I do if my partner says I am over-reacting to the situation?
  • What if my partner gets angry when I suggest they may be experiencing depression?
  • What if my partner denies there is any tension or emotional strain within the relationship?
  • What if my partner blames me for the tension …

and so the list of negative thoughts rolls on.  How do I know what you are possibly thinking?  


I support a partner who suffers with bi-polar depression and I am well acquainted with the mood changes and therefore the range of emotional responses I can expect to my communication about this sensitive issue of depression.


“What can you do to handle these possible scenarios so that you get a positive outcome?”

 

“Start your communication from the heart!”   Yes, it is as simple as that.  Communication from the heart is what is called “healthy communication” and will create healthy results for you.

 

Proven keys for healthy communication:

  • do no seek to place blame
  • communicate through your values e.g. respect, commitment, love etc
  • keep focussed on positive outcomes for all concerned.  Take the time to ask yourself – “what do I really want for this person/relationship?”
  • remember the principle of Work on Me First, Improve my own approach.

 

These are just a few examples of healthy dialogue.  There are more which I will share with you at another time. 

 

Make the right choice!

Choose to raise this sensitive issue with your partner by using healthy communication and you will be on your way to beginning to resolve the tension and misery you have been experiencing.


There are more positive steps you can take!

In my next blog I will be discussing other important action steps you will need to take to assist both yourself and your partner manage depression effectively.


For the moment work on the first step of open communication and keep your eyes out for my next blog which will issue soon.


If you would like more insight into other positive action steps you can take to manage depression effectively within your relationship please contact me.   We can have a chat about how relationship coaching can create for you a place of support and build into your life the capacity to effectively manage your personal situation.  You can contact me on
07 3824 2009 or by email to christine@thetrailblazingwoman.com.au


 

Christine McRae

The Trail Blazing Woman

christine@thetrailblazingwoman.com.au

www.trailblazingwoman.com.au

©3 January 2012, TheTrail Blazing Woman 

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Are you struggling with the Emotional Fallout of Depression in your Relationship?

By tr4ibl4 on 11th December 2011

“Are you struggling with the Emotional Fallout of Depression in your Relationship?”

 

No matter how emotionally resilient you are and no matter how hard you work on keeping a positive attitude, the reality for you is that there will be times of emotional turmoil and challenge that you will need to work through.


 “Wouldn’t it be a relief for you if you could find some simple strategies to manage these emotional challenges”?


Indulge yourself for a few minutes and take the time to read through this blog to discover the keys to effectively managing the emotional fallout of depression.


Depression in a relationship can create emotional fallout in a number of areas of your life: 


1.       You as the carer:

There will be times when you notice huge draw downs on your own emotional reserves as you seek to be understanding and supportive and adjust yourself to the mood swings your partner will experience.


I am not going to sugar-coat this for you.  To give you the support and strategies you will need to keep yourself emotionally strong and resilient I need to share honestly with you.

From my own personal experience of supporting a partner with depression I feel confident in saying that throughout your journey you will experience some of or all of the following:

  • Anxiety as your companion
  • Frustration knocking on your door
  • Insecurity about your future
  • Shame or embarrassment about your partner’s mental/emotional unwellness


2.       Your Relationship

As you experience the very natural and understandable emotions mentioned above, stress and tension will begin to appear in your relationship.   This is normal.   It is how you respond to this that will make all the difference to the impact depression has on your relationship.

 

3.       Your family

Depression can not hide itself from your family.   At some point in time family members will become aware that “something is not quite right”.  How do you share with your family about your partner’s depression?

 I am going to answer that for you!   Keep reading ….

 

4.       Career:  Your career and your partner’s career can be significantly impacted on due to their depression.   I am going to cover this area specifically in my next blog.   So keep an eye out for it ..

“Here is the Good News”! 

 

1.       Taking Care of You

 Managing your anxiety 

  • Remember that every woman supporting a partner with depression will experience this emotion at some time.   This is a natural emotion to be experiencing. 
  • Acceptance of your situation is the most important key for you.   Accept that your partner has an illness the same way you would accept that your partner has diabetes, high blood pressure etc.  You have heard me say this before and I will say it again – depression is an illness and it can be effectively treated with input from the appropriate professional health care providers.

Accepting the situation rather than fighting it or trying to ignore it, will automatically create within you an openness to finding solutions and a commitment to take action that will improve your life and your partner’s life.

 It is also an important aspect of you regaining your emotional strength.  Fighting, ignoring or running away from the situation is very emotionally draining and my goal for you is that you increase in emotional resilience and strength.


 Reach Our for Help

Please do not try to manage your partner’s depression without support around you.  I know and have experienced that having someone walk this journey with you makes a world of difference to your ability to keep things in perspective and rise above your situation.


 Why ask for help?

Managing living with a partner who is suffering from depression is no easy task and requires specialised relationship and communication skills.  It is because of these extraordinary qualities that you will need for this journey that I encourage you to not go it alone and to reach out for the appropriate support and understanding you need.  Remember that a problem shared is definitely a problem halved!                                      


 2.       Effectively Managing Your Relationship

Phew!   A relationship where one partner has depression is really hard work isn’t it?  I understand this because I live with depression in my relationship on a daily basis.


 “How to make this easier for you”

  • Ensure your partner receives the appropriate professional care they need through their GP, psychologist or psychiatrist.   This will lift a big weight off your shoulders. 
  • If your partner is resistant to receiving professional care there are very specific strategies I can give you to help you with this.   If you are interested in these strategies please send me an email to christine@trailblazingwoman.com.au
  •  Set boundaries in relation to how you will allow your partner to treat you or communicate with you when they are in a depressive cycle.  When you set boundaries you are teaching your partner how to treat you.   By doing this you are creating a safety net for them while they are managing their depressed emotions.  This will not only benefit you.  It will also benefit your family and assist your partner on their road to recovery.
  • Remember your partner’s “stuff” is their stuff.   Not yours.   Resolve to keep yourself free from your partner’s stuff.  This may sound a little harsh to some of you, however it is the reality of your situation and when you embrace this concept your emotional tank will begin to fill up again.
  • Resist the instinct to rescue your partner and be their counsellor.  This is not your role.   This is the role of the mental health care professional who is working with your partner.
  • Make the time to do those things that refresh you, make you feel good, relax you and bring you encouragement. 


 3.       Looking after your family

Depression in itself does not have the power to dictate to you how you will live your life and raise your family.  Rather, you have the power within you to create the environment you desire in your home through your mindset and the emotional choices you make.  There are answers, strategies and tools you can use to keep yourself and your family in balance while your partner recovers their wellbeing. This is why I strongly recommend that you do not go through this journey alone.  You will need all the help you can get.

 

Neutralisers for depression:  Choose to keep life as normal as possible and keep family and friends close


Be prepared to have an open conversation with your family about your partner’s depression.  Rather than hiding it, bring it gently out into the open.   This can be a strong, healing process.  Of course, you would only do this with your partner’s permission and through your value of respect for your partner’s dignity.


Keep the routine of life and family as normal as possible.  This is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner and is a therapy in itself.  Take the lead and get on with the normal things of life, responding normally, planning normally and communicating normally within the family unit.  This “normality” can neutralise many of the depressed emotions that can touch you and your family while your partner is recovering.


Whilst family and friends might not fully understand what is happening within your life and family at this time, if you are used to having them close then keep them close.  This can also be a great neutraliser for your home life.  Their love, laughter and light heartedness will bring you renewed energy.


As the festive season draws closer and more time is spent with family, I trust the strategies I have shared with you give you the wisdom, understanding and skilfulness you need to keep yourself emotionally strong, keep your relationship in harmony and keep the family unit in balance.


If you would like more insight into how to take the struggle out of managing the emotional fallout from depression, why don’t you contact me and have a chat about how personal coaching could restore your emotional energy, create for you a place of support and build into your life the capacity to effectively manage your personal situation.  You can contact me on 07 3824 2009 or by email to christine@thetrailblazingwoman.com.au

 

Christine McRae

The Trail Blazing Woman

christine@thetrailblazingwoman.com.au

www.trailblazingwoman.com.au

©November 2011, TheTrail Blazing Woman 

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Dealing with your Partner’s Anger

By tr4ibl4 on 15th October 2011

 

Anger in Relationships

I wonder how much energy you are using up in dealing with your partner’s anger.  Heaps?!

 

My personal experience with this relationship issue tells me that you are using up a huge amount of energy.  Also my experience as a relationship coach has shown me that anger in a relationship is a very common challenge and as I work with my clients it is very apparent the amount of energy that is lost in dealing with this ongoing issue.


I have some strategies to share with you that will give you this energy back.  All of this energy you have been using up to deal with a negative emotion can now be released back into your life so you can live the life you really want to.  


How good does that feel! 


Imagine more energy

 

Spend a few moments imagining how you will feel when you know how to deal with your partner’s anger without draining your emotional reserves.  I imagine you are already taking a few deep breaths and thinking what a huge difference this would make in your life.


Before we look at the strategies it is important that we understand the root cause of the anger.


Why does your partner flare up so easily with anger?

 

If you partner is having regular outbursts of anger you really need to put some time into dealing with this.  Regular outbursts of anger are a warning sign that something is going on in your partner’s life that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.  If anger is not dealt with appropriately it carries with it some unpleasant consequences.


Anger is usually a sign of deep seated frustration and I am sure you have probably already worked this out.   However, how do you find out what is the cause of the frustration so you can deal with it?


 

Two major causes of anger are stress and depression.


1. Anger caused by stress could be coming from a number of obvious sources:

  • Your partner’s work responsibilities and the unrealistic expectations placed on them
  • Unemployment
  • Financial concerns
  • Family responsibilities that appear overwhelming
  • Failure of a plan or project

and there would be many more that will come to your mind as you start to think about your personal situation.


If you cannot find the cause of your partner’s angry outbursts related to some of the causes listed above, then you may need to look a little deeper.  


2. The hidden sleeper behind anger is depression

 

Depression is the hidden sleeper behind anger.   Experiencing depression brings with it high levels of frustration because it is such a debilitating and often confusing illness.  

Out of this frustration comes the angry outbursts and this is when the huge emotional energy drain starts to set in for you.


How do you know if your partner is depressed?


In the last newsletter we had a look at this.   Let’s look again at the typical indicators of depression:


  • Irritability
  • sleep disturbance
  • withdrawing from social activities
  • over-working
  • excessive drinking
  • controlling behaviours
  • violence or abuse – verbal or physical
  • inappropriately getting angry
  • indulging in risky behaviour such as reckless driving
  • unhealthy sexual relations


All of these symptoms can be warning signs that your partner is in a cycle of depression.  


Now that you have identified the possible cause of your partner’s angry outbursts it is time to look at strategies to assist you deal with this.


Let’s get your energy back!

 

Here are some strategies that should really help you:


1. Don’t allow yourself to get into an argument when your partner is having an angry outburst.   You cannot deal with the anger while it is raging.  


2. Set boundaries in place:

 

  • Put your hand up to say stop.   This use of body language is very effective.   Just like a policeman stopping the traffic.   Then you can literally say…
  • “Stop, I am not prepared to communicate with you while you are angry and I am going to leave the room until you feel more settled”
  • Then quietly leave the room. 
  • Ensure when you do this that you are doing this through your values e.g. respect, compassion, understanding

 This is called boundary setting and gives your partner the signal that you are not prepared to be treated in this way.



3. Find the right time to have an open conversation with your partner about the impact their anger is having on you

 

4. Offer your support and understanding


5. Encourage them to seek professional help, particularly if depression is the root cause 

 

Anger in a relationship can be very destructive. 



If you are struggling with this and your energy is continually being drained out from the anger, then it is time for you to connect with a coach who specialises in this area.


Coaching women with this particular relationship challenge and women supporting partner’s with depression is something I am totally committed to and passionate about.


Why don’t you contact me and have a chat about how personal coaching could restore harmony and balance to your relationship and prevent it from crumbling.   You can contact me on 07 3824 2009 or by email to christine@thetrailblazingwoman.com.au.


Christine McRae ,

The Trailblazing Woman

www.trailblazingwoman.com.au

©October 2011, TheTrail Blazing Woman


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